Abandoned Stuff by Saskboy

A slightly embarrassing, but also hilarious thing happened to me today. I went to an ice cream farewell party for some coworkers today, and asked for a fudgesicle. It was super thick, not like the standard kind that is barely thicker than the popsicle stick. Apparently it retained its lack of heat very well, because I went to bite the top off of it like I do with my regular fudgey & icey treat, and my lips closed eagerly around it to catch any drips… and became stuck. Very stuck. Painfully stuck.

My first thought was, I had better not panic and rip my lip skin off. Just wait for it to melt off in a couple seconds. A couple seconds passed, but my lips remained just as frozen. I tugged gently to no avail. Since both of my lips were sealed on a smooth ice cream treat, I couldn’t blow on them to warm the area up. I tried pushing saliva at my lower lip with my tongue. Success, my lower lip was free after about 30 seconds.

By then, the 3 women standing around me talking had noticed I was in some distress. I considered going to the bathroom to run water over my lips from the sink, to get it off instantly, but I didn’t want to waste the ice cream. And it would melt off eventually, right? Wrong.

Well, not completely wrong, because it did come off about a minute later after I was carefully tugging, while blowing as best as possible through my nose onto the ice cream, trying not to drool through my free lower lip, or refreeze it to the death trap ice cream. If I had injured my mouth by freezing it, indoors, in August, do you think Occupational Health and Safety would want to know about it?

“Ighn sawwy, I cant talk wight naw, I roze Igh ‘outh on ice crean. Need ‘orkers conkunsation.”

Ice cream 1. Saskboy 0. But I did eat it for the last laugh.