On my holiday I watched most of “Bandits” [7/10] with Bruce Willis, “The Meaning of Life” [4/10] with Monty Python’s gang, and “The Rocky Horror Picture Show” [2/10] which is a cult classic because you need to be in a cult that forces you to watch it in its entirety.
I also caught some of the Trek-mas marathon, with “The Voyage Home - Star Trek IV” [9/10].
==
Here’s a joke I’m working on, and it’s not finished. If you can fine tune it, that would be great.
So it starts off like this…
Saddam Hussein, Gerald Ford, and the Godfather of Soul James Brown are at the Pearly Gates of heaven.
And that’s as far as I’ve got.
@hotmail.com
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willy be frantic | 30-Dec-06 at 10:42 pm | Permalink
Punch line — and Saint Peter says ” Why do entertainers always die in threes ” Full disclosure - I stole this from Wonkette.
Saskboy | 30-Dec-06 at 11:23 pm | Permalink
Thanks for that Willy Be:
“Anyway, commenter dimestorefool wins our comment of the day award:
James Brown, Jerry Ford and now Saddam - why do the great entertainers always dies in 3’s?”
burlivespipe | 31-Dec-06 at 12:08 am | Permalink
So Saddam Hussein, Gerald Ford and James Brown arrive at the pearly gates one day. As is his duty, St Peter stops the trio and says ‘Sorry, before entering you each need to answer one question.’ Hussein is indignant. ‘I do not need to answer to anyone, I am Saddam!’ St Peter shakes his head, then turns to Gerald Ford. “Ok, you’ve just been given the job of a lifetime but to save the company you need to do what to the man you replaced?”
Ford scratches his head for a second and then firmly replies, “I pardon him.”
St Peter nods. He turns to James Brown and asks “Can you teach me how to do that shuffle?” Brown screams “Yoww! I feel good!” and proceeds to dance for one full minute. St Peter does a quick imitation of the Godfather of Soul and says, “Mr Brown, enter!”
Ford is puzzled. Saddam is quietly fuming. St Peter rubs his chin. “Ok Hussein, I’ll give you one more chance…”
Saddam shouts out “I’d rather teach you to dance than to suggest I’d excuse Richard Nixon!”
St Peter thinks about it, accepts Saddam’s offer, and then is taken back by the Iraqi despot’s ability to breakdance. Hussein twists and spins with incredible agility. The angel is amazed and opens the gate. “Ok Saddam, you win, please follow Mr Brown.”
Ford almost loses his cool. “St Peter, I’ve been a good soldier, always followed the Lord’s ways, played football and politics with the ideal that fair play is the only way — why am I outside and Saddam inside?”
“It’s like this,” St Peter starts. “We’re pretty lenient here, but anyone who thought Richard Nixon needed to be pardoned really needs to spend more time with him — down there!”
Okay, it’s not too funny but if someone could tighten it up and put in a better punchline, I think it would top the ‘dies in threes’ flopper…
scout | 31-Dec-06 at 3:25 am | Permalink
ok, i’m not even going to attempt this one!!!
but have a happy new year and don’t take any wooden nickels!
Gulliver Swift | 31-Dec-06 at 11:53 am | Permalink
Here goes another one:
Saddam’s Last Laugh
Gerald Ford, James Brown and Saddam Hussein arrive together
at the gates to heaven and are greeted by St. Peter.
St. Peter informs them that each of them must answer as to why they think they are worthy of admission into heaven before they are allowed to pass into the Kingdom of God.
Gerald Ford says that he thinks he should be allowed to pass the gates into heaven because he gave the country leadership and facilitated healing after the Viet Nam War and the Watergate scandal.
St. Peter says “Ok, that’s good enough. You may pass.”
James Brown says that he thinks he should be allowed to pass because he was a leader during the civil rights movement and helped calm the nation after the assassination of Martin Luther King Jr. by performing a live concert on network television encouraging people to stay home and off the streets.
St. Peter says “Ok. That’s good enough. You too may pass into heaven also.”
Saddam Hussein says that “After I learned I was to be sentenced to death, I repented for my sins and clutched the Koran as I was walked to the hangman’s scaffold.”
St. Peter thinks for a minute and says: “Ok. Since you have repented for your sins, your sins are forgiven and you too may pass through the gates into heaven.”
Just then the phone rings and after picking up and talking on it for a minute St. Peter says to Saddam that it was God and he wants him to go “straight to hell”.
Saddam says “Wait, I thought you said my sins were forgiven?!”
St. Peter says “Your sins have been forgiven. We just got word that George Bush is about to die and we are going to need your help in the torture chamber!”
Troop | 31-Dec-06 at 6:44 pm | Permalink
James Brown, Gerald Ford, and Saddam Hussein show up at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter turns to James Brown and says, “You were a wife-beater. No way we’re letting you in here! Off to Hell with you!” Then he turns to Gerald Ford and says, “You pardoned that crook Nixon. Now you can go down and burn with him for eternity!” Then he turns to Saddam and just waves him on through. Ford and Brown say, “Whoa, what’s up with that? He gassed the Kurds, tortured his own people, and generally ruled with an iron fist his entire life.” St. Peter replies, “Yes, but we have a very strict dress code here, and he’s the only one wearing a necktie.”
Ashley | 31-Dec-06 at 7:49 pm | Permalink
I was a little worried at first, but Troop, you pulled that one off at the end.