Abandoned Stuff by Saskboy

Anyone can post a Top 10 list for the most famous events in the past year, 2006. But only Saskboy and Associates ™ can tell you the news from 2007 as it happened. That’s because of almost-patented time travel technology, we have the upcoming year in review.

What’s the difference between this, and a “prediction” of the coming year’s events? Our’s is a factual review of past events, from our unique perspective from the future. Now stop asking questions, and take a look at 2007.

1. Britney Spears married Paris Hilton, and K-Fed has the first child.
2. Michael Jackson adopted a son from Africa. The little Caucasian boy was from a South African family killed by OJ Simpson. A book is expected out in 2008 detailing the killings.
3. Katie Holmes was found locked in Tom Cruise’s basement for practicing Catholicism.
4. The Saskatchewan Roughriders won the Grey Cup in November, for the first time since 1989.
5. Microsoft released the Vista Operating System, and Office 2007, but lost millions of dollars when only 5000 copies sold worldwide.
6. HereIsYourDivorce.com is credited with overfull US jails, after it allowed disgruntled, separated spouses to send Canadian drugs and police to their ex’s home simultaneously, using a combination of GM OnStar, Google Local, and Web 3.0 technology.
7. Iraq began welcoming American tourists with flowers, as the first dozen resorts built from oil money opened across the Middle Eastern country.
8. Saskboy became the first Canadian blogger arrested under the mysterious “security certificate” after sources claimed he hugged a tree — at 24 Sussex Dr. in Ottawa. Prime Minister Dion was not home at the time of the alleged incident. Saskboy is still missing “in the system”.
9. The Big 5 Canadian banks, merged into the Royal Scotian Montreal Commerce Bank of Toronto. The new service fee for entering the bank branches proved too costly for most Canadians. As a result Zellers sold out of piggy banks, and had to close permanently.
10. The UN passed a resolution that Top 10 Lists are cruel and unusual treatment of Internet users, and publication of them past 2008 is punishable by hanging.

Saskboy and Associates ™ is not responsible for the accuracy of the news from 2007.

This entry was posted on Saturday, December 16th, 2006 at 1:12 pm and is filed under Saskatchewan, humour, movies, news, politics, science, sports, television. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site. Recommend this Post at ProgressiveBloggers.ca