I once read “If you can’t be original, be repetitive.” In an effort to better educate new readers what Abandoned Stuff is all about, I’ll be featuring my most popular Stuff this week of Canadian Blog Award voting.
So in order to be as unoriginal as possible, and let the masses of people know what my greatest creation on the Interweb ever was, here’s my Pet Foil Hat Technology, revisited.
Pet Foil Hat Technology (PFHT) is the sorta-patented system that protects you and your pet from the government’s and alien’s brain scan rays!
This offer is truly GINORMOUS!
Technical Jargon:
This ultra modern aluminum foil hat will protect your pet from the brain scanning rays of the NSA, certain ‘bay auction’ websites, fbi.com, and CIA satellites that are monitoring their little subversive thoughts. You may not have considered this before, but your lead lined hat is worthless if your pet can give away your secrets to the very people most dangerous to you - your government!
The PFHT contains space age materials, and is guaranteed to work for your pet. All government I/O is cut off. It’s like a firewall for your pet’s brain.
“PFHT” will not disappoint anyone who doesn’t want to get noticed by the ever watchful and ultra secretive FBI.com! So secret in fact, they don’t even have a website.
Now pardon me, while I go to a drug store to buy some placebos…
@hotmail.com
![[EFC Blue Ribbon - Free Speech Online]](http://www.efc.ca/images/efcfreet.gif)
Adrian MacNair | 26-Nov-06 at 2:07 pm | Permalink
While your above article is hilarious in it’s unoriginality, remember that thou shalt never be as unoriginal as I. My mouth practically weeps with repetitive phrases, slogans, and my writing style is particularly stay-the-course. I’ve never had a unique thought in my life, and my suggestions have always come long after a solution has been found. Not even this self-deprecatory humour is original, and has been a shtick of comedians since long before I was a congealed mass of DNA in two parts of separate human beings.
Now, just in case you were thinking of usurping the unoriginal crown, recall if you will that the “Land Before Time” movie had 12 sequels. And the premise was anthropomorphic dinosaurs to begin with. I suggest you leave the unoriginality around here to people less talented than you (your humble narrator and any script writer in Hollywood), and continue to write articles of a niche nature about the land that hills forgot, Saskatchewan.
If you don’t mind, now I’m off to write some more blog articles that will contribute to my donut streak in the comments section.
scout | 26-Nov-06 at 5:23 pm | Permalink
i didn’t have any tin foil so used wax paper…..will that work?
Anth | 26-Nov-06 at 5:37 pm | Permalink
You’ve watched too many science fiction and conspiracy movies dude.
Saskboy | 27-Nov-06 at 8:37 pm | Permalink
Adrian, I won’t challenge gangsta.
Scout, no.
Anth, you know not who lurks to read your pet’s mind ;-)
Abandoned Stuff by Saskboy » Blog Archive » 200,000 coming soon | 31-Aug-07 at 12:22 am | Permalink
[...] have come in the last two years. This number only partially includes people who searched for the Pet Foil Hat Technology I invented in 2003. On eBay when it was selling, over 250,000 viewed the various pet foil hat [...]