Ban TV - Join the Teleban
Will you help me ban television? It either has too much sex, violence, advertising, laughtrack, or poor writing. Even if you find a good show, the network will find a way to cancel it. I’ve come to the unavoidable conclusion that television needs banning to save the children.
You can call me the founding father of the Teleban. In the spirit of Internet movements, I’ve created a blogroll for fellow Teleban to join me in my crusade against the boob tube. The list will identify fellow Teleban who want to save the children from a life of laughtracks and show cancellations.
A great mind who didn’t watch TV once said, “Free speech requires no TV controls.”
Join the Teleban Blogroll now by leaving a comment or emailing Saskboy at his hotmail address, and if you don’t have a blog you can send money to show your support instead. In no way are we affiliated with the Taliban, and we haven’t been classified as a terrorist organization by the CIA, CSIS, CRTC, CBS, FCC, George Bush, or even Pat Robertson.
Save the children! Ban Television!
Here are some Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ) regarding the Ban TV movement:
- What’s is TV?
It’s the programs on pre-Internet enabled light shooting boxes. TV does not include online videos distributed over a free and open Internet.
- Why ban TV?
You shouldn’t question the leader of the Teleban. TV is rumoured to cause male impotence, female infertility, and insanity in children. Do you want those things? I didn’t think so. Now, ban TV because it’s all about saving the children!
- How will the Teleban ban TV?
We’ll pressure communication regulatory bodies to forbid the transmission of NTSC, PAL, and DTV signals over our public airwaves. We’ll send angry thoughts to DVD makers who force you to watch ads in your movie. We’ll also forbid people in our homes from consuming TV. Remember the motto: “Friends don’t let friends watch Friends.”
- Why would you take away my Desperate Housewives you nasty Teleban?
You’ve lost control of your Sunday evenings, and need them back to become politically, or physically active. The President of the United States determines what is torture now, and the Prime Minister of Canada is rumoured in the media to eat babies. We need better people involved in politics, and you are “better people”. We also need baseball players that don’t take steroids - you could be the next organic Barry Bonds.
- Is it true that you want to ban TV just because they canceled Star Trek?
There is no truth to that whatsoever.
- Really?
Yes really.
- Is there a national holiday associated with your group?
There would be if we get enough members. December 1 is Ban TV Day.
- Can I still watch YouTube, or TV on my computer?
Yes you can.
- Can I join the Teleban if I still watch TV, or relapse and watch some TV in a moment or hour of weakness?
Yes, the Teleban forgives all TV transgressions, but you should denounce the advertising you witnessed, and blog about any mind control TV techniques you were subjected to.
- Doesn’t that mean that the Teleban will take anyone as a member?
Pretty much, unless you’re Pat Robertson, Peter Mansbridge, Katie Couric, Bill O’Reilly, or a mole.
Include the following in your Blogger template to show the Teleban Blogroll on your blog. The code should work for other blogging platforms as well.
<div class=’widget-content’>
<a href="http://www.abandonedstuff.com/2006/10/18/ban-tv/"><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v238/saskboy/bantvteleban.png"/></a>
<br/>
<center><b><a href="http://www.abandonedstuff.com/2006/10/18/ban-tv/">Teleban Blogroll </a></b></center>
<script language="javascript" src="http://rpc.blogrolling.com/display.php?r=df915d8567f0669aedee68ef96ac307d" type="text/javascript"></script>
</div>
Or you can just make a link using this tiny code:
<a href="http://www.abandonedstuff.com/2006/10/18/ban-tv/"><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v238/saskboy/bantv.png"/></a>
Wordpress.com bloggers can use the following OPML blogroll code:
http://rpc.blogrolling.com/opml.php?r=df915d8567f0669aedee68ef96ac307d
You can use this graphic on your website:
Here’s an unrelated petition to ban TV. It might be worth signing, since there are only 48 signatures so far.
UPDATE: Dodos, a rising star in the Teleban tells us why we must watch less TV to save the very planet we live on!
*Disclaimer: The Teleban does not want to really take your TV away. It’s simply a catchy way to express disdain toward low quality entertainment that is sucking the brains right out of people, and wasting our time. The presence of the Free Speech graphic at the bottom of this website should be a dead giveaway for readers who got offended before getting to this disclaimer, that banning TVs is no more than a modest proposal to highlight a gross misuse of the public trust, expressed by most major television providers. All that, and we like to make fun of the Taliban.
Sphere: Related Content![[EFC Blue Ribbon - Free Speech Online]](http://www.efc.ca/images/efcfreet.gif)
October 18th, 2006 at 12:24 am
Previous discussion is at http://www.abandonedstuff.com/2006/10/16/ban-tv-soon/
October 18th, 2006 at 9:52 am
Down with TV! I don’t watch it but my tax dollars keep getting funneled into the CRTC. It should be banned!
Lets have a anti TV blog burst like the con bloggers had to get rid of the SWC. Why should I pay if I don’t use it?
I have no kids either so lets get rid of that $1200 Harper is doling out of my tax dollars. They should keep it in their pants and out of my wallet!
I haven’t been to a hospital in years so why am I paying for public health care?
I don’t lose jobs so lets get rid of Employment assistance as well.
I also don’t believe in war so lets get rid of the military while we are at it.
Why stop there.
I am also an atheist and I should not be suffering from the fact that churches/mosques/synagogues get tax free status. Pay up or get out! I don’t wnat my dollars being funneled into their faith based communities.
Time to trim the fat.
I know 5 people who refuse to send mail with Canada Post so lets kill that also.
October 18th, 2006 at 10:08 am
I can’t support a ban on television because there is some stuff there worth watching - like The Daily Show and Colbert Report. Ban crap, certainly, but proposing a ban on television is like supporting a ban on oxygen because jerks use it.
October 18th, 2006 at 10:38 am
Kevvyd, You can still watch those shows like I do, online. And check out the FAQ, you can still be part of the Teleban and watch TV as long as you feel guilty.
So Jay, you’re in? Leave your blog address, or affirmation, and I’ll add your name to the roll.
October 18th, 2006 at 10:38 am
But I like TV! It’s educational, think about David Suzuki! Or Clifford the Big Red Dog!
October 18th, 2006 at 11:14 am
Save the children from the “Big Red” Dog. Obviously a tip of the hat to communists, while indoctrinating our children with communist colours.
We have to throw the baby out with the bathwater to save the children. Ban TV! The Teleban needs you Soulfood. The children need you. David Suzuki can broadcast online instead.
October 18th, 2006 at 12:09 pm
Might I suggest a reasonable comprise?
I will shroud my TV with an opaque sheet of a single color, devoid of ornamentation and woven from a single type of fabric. There will be a gauzy square on the front which is translucent but not transparent. This will permit use of an IR remote control, and those in the room will be able to hear the audio part of the program, and make out indistinct shapes (such as the major features of a weather map), but will be spared the arousal of flashing images of flesh and other worldly concerns.
There is still the issue of music videos, which children will tune to to hear the audio. In Sh’allah, our efforts to ban all music will be successful.
October 18th, 2006 at 12:56 pm
Yes, ban TV.
Well, let’s keep Discovery Channel and National Geographic.
CNN and/or FOX News, too.
I am all in.
Rui
October 18th, 2006 at 1:08 pm
Rui, and Nat, do you have a blog you would like to add to the Teleban blogroll?
October 18th, 2006 at 5:49 pm
I agree with many of the reasons behind banning TV, but I have to agree with others that it serves the needs of clean education, news and information in general. While I am for the banning, I had a different resolution in mind.
Government law should be implemented to only broadcast unfiltered (family like) material. While questionable material will be transmitted via different protocol that requires a device like that of a set top box on your tv. At least this way anyone will be able to have access to the good TV, while those faithful to the idiot box can buy a little thingy and get all the crap they want.
I am 22 and I fear the future of the children of this city (Sydney)
October 18th, 2006 at 5:50 pm
Tell me where I go to watch TV on the internet.
If I can watch “Men In Trees” and “Corner Gas” on-line, I’m in.
October 18th, 2006 at 6:00 pm
Saskboy, I am disappointed. TV rocks. I boycott this ban on television.
October 18th, 2006 at 10:37 pm
A_Resident http://www.mininova.org/ has more TV each night than you can watch. Just use a Bit Torrent client like http://www.bittorrent.com or utorrent.com to download the TV file. Then if it doesn’t play, you can download http://www.videolan.org VLC Player which is a free media player that doesn’t have crazy licensing restrictions like Windows Media Player.
Of course with downloading TV, you have to wait a few hours or a day for someone to put it online. You have to wait to get timeshifted TV if you don’t want to get a PVR yourself.
I’ll add you to the blogroll ;-)
Stephen, are you sure you can’t have fun telling your friends they should ban TV?
October 19th, 2006 at 12:23 am
Haven’t you heard about my support of communism? Sorry, but I have to say “Go Communism!” and “Go Clifford!”
October 19th, 2006 at 6:56 am
Ban TV at once! yes please. I havent watched it since 1983, except for a short period when my mother bought me a black and white portable. Luckily it was stolen by a mysterious burgler who also took three tins of tuna - possibly a cat burgler?.
I tolerate radio because I can get news stations that have an information bandwidth slightly higher than a children’s comic book. TV news is an interesting insight into what people who ferry children to school in SUV’s look like but technically it is a disaster as the engineers seem to have made some sort of diasterous mistake and the information content is actually less than zero.
No the internet is the way to go, I get most of my knowledge about the world off of utube and I’m still ahead of my TV watching rivals.