Will you help me ban television? It either has too much sex, violence, advertising, laughtrack, or poor writing. Even if you find a good show, the network will find a way to cancel it. I’ve come to the unavoidable conclusion that television needs banning to save the children.
You can call me the founding father of the Teleban. In the spirit of Internet movements, I’ve created a blogroll for fellow Teleban to join me in my crusade against the boob tube. The list will identify fellow Teleban who want to save the children from a life of laughtracks and show cancellations.
A great mind who didn’t watch TV once said, “Free speech requires no TV controls.”
Join the Teleban Blogroll now by leaving a comment or emailing Saskboy at his hotmail address, and if you don’t have a blog you can send money to show your support instead. In no way are we affiliated with the Taliban, and we haven’t been classified as a terrorist organization by the CIA, CSIS, CRTC, CBS, FCC, George Bush, or even Pat Robertson.
Save the children! Ban Television!
Here are some Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ) regarding the Ban TV movement:
- What’s is TV?
It’s the programs on pre-Internet enabled light shooting boxes. TV does not include online videos distributed over a free and open Internet.
- Why ban TV?
You shouldn’t question the leader of the Teleban. TV is rumoured to cause male impotence, female infertility, and insanity in children. Do you want those things? I didn’t think so. Now, ban TV because it’s all about saving the children!
- How will the Teleban ban TV?
We’ll pressure communication regulatory bodies to forbid the transmission of NTSC, PAL, and DTV signals over our public airwaves. We’ll send angry thoughts to DVD makers who force you to watch ads in your movie. We’ll also forbid people in our homes from consuming TV. Remember the motto: “Friends don’t let friends watch Friends.”
- Why would you take away my Desperate Housewives you nasty Teleban?
You’ve lost control of your Sunday evenings, and need them back to become politically, or physically active. The President of the United States determines what is torture now, and the Prime Minister of Canada is rumoured in the media to eat babies. We need better people involved in politics, and you are “better people”. We also need baseball players that don’t take steroids - you could be the next organic Barry Bonds.
- Is it true that you want to ban TV just because they canceled Star Trek?
There is no truth to that whatsoever.
- Really?
Yes really.
- Is there a national holiday associated with your group?
There would be if we get enough members. December 1 is Ban TV Day.
- Can I still watch YouTube, or TV on my computer?
Yes you can.
- Can I join the Teleban if I still watch TV, or relapse and watch some TV in a moment or hour of weakness?
Yes, the Teleban forgives all TV transgressions, but you should denounce the advertising you witnessed, and blog about any mind control TV techniques you were subjected to.
- Doesn’t that mean that the Teleban will take anyone as a member?
Pretty much, unless you’re Pat Robertson, Peter Mansbridge, Katie Couric, Bill O’Reilly, or a mole.
Include the following in your Blogger template to show the Teleban Blogroll on your blog. The code should work for other blogging platforms as well.
[html]
[/html]
Or you can just make a link using this tiny code:
[html]
[/html]
Wordpress.com bloggers can use the following OPML blogroll code:
http://rpc.blogrolling.com/opml.php?r=df915d8567f0669aedee68ef96ac307d
You can use this graphic on your website:
Here’s an unrelated petition to ban TV. It might be worth signing, since there are only 48 signatures so far.
UPDATE: Dodos, a rising star in the Teleban tells us why we must watch less TV to save the very planet we live on!
*Disclaimer: The Teleban does not want to really take your TV away. It’s simply a catchy way to express disdain toward low quality entertainment that is sucking the brains right out of people, and wasting our time. The presence of the Free Speech graphic at the bottom of this website should be a dead giveaway for readers who got offended before getting to this disclaimer, that banning TVs is no more than a modest proposal to highlight a gross misuse of the public trust, expressed by most major television providers. All that, and we like to make fun of the Taliban.
@hotmail.com
![[EFC Blue Ribbon - Free Speech Online]](http://www.efc.ca/images/efcfreet.gif)
Saskboy | 18-Oct-06 at 12:24 am | Permalink
Previous discussion is at http://www.abandonedstuff.com/2006/10/16/ban-tv-soon/
jay | 18-Oct-06 at 9:52 am | Permalink
Down with TV! I don’t watch it but my tax dollars keep getting funneled into the CRTC. It should be banned!
Lets have a anti TV blog burst like the con bloggers had to get rid of the SWC. Why should I pay if I don’t use it?
I have no kids either so lets get rid of that $1200 Harper is doling out of my tax dollars. They should keep it in their pants and out of my wallet!
I haven’t been to a hospital in years so why am I paying for public health care?
I don’t lose jobs so lets get rid of Employment assistance as well.
I also don’t believe in war so lets get rid of the military while we are at it.
Why stop there.
I am also an atheist and I should not be suffering from the fact that churches/mosques/synagogues get tax free status. Pay up or get out! I don’t wnat my dollars being funneled into their faith based communities.
Time to trim the fat.
I know 5 people who refuse to send mail with Canada Post so lets kill that also.
kevvyd | 18-Oct-06 at 10:08 am | Permalink
I can’t support a ban on television because there is some stuff there worth watching - like The Daily Show and Colbert Report. Ban crap, certainly, but proposing a ban on television is like supporting a ban on oxygen because jerks use it.
Saskboy | 18-Oct-06 at 10:38 am | Permalink
Kevvyd, You can still watch those shows like I do, online. And check out the FAQ, you can still be part of the Teleban and watch TV as long as you feel guilty.
So Jay, you’re in? Leave your blog address, or affirmation, and I’ll add your name to the roll.
Soulfood | 18-Oct-06 at 10:38 am | Permalink
But I like TV! It’s educational, think about David Suzuki! Or Clifford the Big Red Dog!
Saskboy | 18-Oct-06 at 11:14 am | Permalink
Save the children from the “Big Red” Dog. Obviously a tip of the hat to communists, while indoctrinating our children with communist colours.
We have to throw the baby out with the bathwater to save the children. Ban TV! The Teleban needs you Soulfood. The children need you. David Suzuki can broadcast online instead.
natophonic | 18-Oct-06 at 12:09 pm | Permalink
Might I suggest a reasonable comprise?
I will shroud my TV with an opaque sheet of a single color, devoid of ornamentation and woven from a single type of fabric. There will be a gauzy square on the front which is translucent but not transparent. This will permit use of an IR remote control, and those in the room will be able to hear the audio part of the program, and make out indistinct shapes (such as the major features of a weather map), but will be spared the arousal of flashing images of flesh and other worldly concerns.
There is still the issue of music videos, which children will tune to to hear the audio. In Sh’allah, our efforts to ban all music will be successful.
Rui | 18-Oct-06 at 12:56 pm | Permalink
Yes, ban TV.
Well, let’s keep Discovery Channel and National Geographic.
CNN and/or FOX News, too.
I am all in.
Rui
Saskboy | 18-Oct-06 at 1:08 pm | Permalink
Rui, and Nat, do you have a blog you would like to add to the Teleban blogroll?
Johnny | 18-Oct-06 at 5:49 pm | Permalink
I agree with many of the reasons behind banning TV, but I have to agree with others that it serves the needs of clean education, news and information in general. While I am for the banning, I had a different resolution in mind.
Government law should be implemented to only broadcast unfiltered (family like) material. While questionable material will be transmitted via different protocol that requires a device like that of a set top box on your tv. At least this way anyone will be able to have access to the good TV, while those faithful to the idiot box can buy a little thingy and get all the crap they want.
I am 22 and I fear the future of the children of this city (Sydney)
A_Resident | 18-Oct-06 at 5:50 pm | Permalink
Tell me where I go to watch TV on the internet.
If I can watch “Men In Trees” and “Corner Gas” on-line, I’m in.
Stephen Glauser | 18-Oct-06 at 6:00 pm | Permalink
Saskboy, I am disappointed. TV rocks. I boycott this ban on television.
Saskboy | 18-Oct-06 at 10:37 pm | Permalink
A_Resident http://www.mininova.org/ has more TV each night than you can watch. Just use a Bit Torrent client like http://www.bittorrent.com or utorrent.com to download the TV file. Then if it doesn’t play, you can download http://www.videolan.org VLC Player which is a free media player that doesn’t have crazy licensing restrictions like Windows Media Player.
Of course with downloading TV, you have to wait a few hours or a day for someone to put it online. You have to wait to get timeshifted TV if you don’t want to get a PVR yourself.
I’ll add you to the blogroll ;-)
Stephen, are you sure you can’t have fun telling your friends they should ban TV?
Soulfood | 19-Oct-06 at 12:23 am | Permalink
Haven’t you heard about my support of communism? Sorry, but I have to say “Go Communism!” and “Go Clifford!”
Jerry | 19-Oct-06 at 6:56 am | Permalink
Ban TV at once! yes please. I havent watched it since 1983, except for a short period when my mother bought me a black and white portable. Luckily it was stolen by a mysterious burgler who also took three tins of tuna - possibly a cat burgler?.
I tolerate radio because I can get news stations that have an information bandwidth slightly higher than a children’s comic book. TV news is an interesting insight into what people who ferry children to school in SUV’s look like but technically it is a disaster as the engineers seem to have made some sort of diasterous mistake and the information content is actually less than zero.
No the internet is the way to go, I get most of my knowledge about the world off of utube and I’m still ahead of my TV watching rivals.
A_Resident | 19-Oct-06 at 5:38 pm | Permalink
Saskboy, I don’t like the towel comment tho :(
Saskboy | 19-Oct-06 at 9:59 pm | Permalink
I could change the towel remark if it comes across as offensive? If we didn’t have so many TVs, no one in the world would ever feel offended.
James Phillips | 20-Oct-06 at 11:20 pm | Permalink
Greetings,
I read you Teleban page on the Abandoned Stuff website with some
amusement. I found it by wasting too much time on Slashdot, but I
digress.
I understand that the “Teleban” is a joke, but after a day of
thinking about it, I may have come up with a technical question you
may not have considered:
Is it still considered watching TV if you are using your televison as
computer monitor?
Traditionally, the trader-off was a larger screen with lower
resolution. With the advent of High Definition television, there is
going to be renewed interest in this.
I think the test for watching televison should be wether or not you
are simply staring at the skull-draining content. My test closes the
“watching on the computer” loophole, but creates a new one: I doesn’t
count as watching TV if you are actively interacting with the
content. This means you can feel better about yourselft simply by
yelling at the TV.
Regards,
James Phillips
Ross | 21-Oct-06 at 2:07 pm | Permalink
at first i was confused why anyone would want to ban television, but the more i read the more i think i understand. i still watch t.v. however i don’t pay for it, the way i bring the television signal into my home is made clear by the banner and link on the bottom of my blog and web site. i have also set up a page on my site to allow others to watch streaming shows which originated on television, and movies. so sign me up to the teleban.
Abandoned Stuff by Saskboy » Blog Archive » Reader video tip ; Reader link | 23-Oct-06 at 8:06 pm | Permalink
[...] I don’t watch The OC, and in fact it sorta goes against my whole Ban TV initiative to mention this, but a reader wanted me to link to the YouTube ad of an environmentalist on the Fox show. My hunch is they just want to make environmentalists out to be some kind of fruitcakes, fit for ridicule and ignoring. Hopefully that’s not what they are after, or likely to accomplish. [...]
A_Resident | 25-Oct-06 at 4:58 am | Permalink
I tried to put the “Ban TV” blog roll on my site and it didn’t work. I changed all the [’s to
Saskboy | 30-Oct-06 at 10:33 am | Permalink
A_Resident, let me know if you figure it out. I’ve not tested the code on Blogger yet.
A_Resident | 31-Oct-06 at 6:55 pm | Permalink
I’m still trying. All I am able to get is a link with the word “Teleban” no blogger list or photo. I think what I will do for now is use the link and manually add the blogger list one by one. The try to add the logo.
I feel like a computer idiot! I just cannot get it to work, and the instructions are quite simple.
I hope it’s blogger and not me :)
Saskboy | 31-Oct-06 at 7:43 pm | Permalink
I emailed you some different code that’s pared down to just the blogroll without the graphic linking code too. If anyone else wants help too, just leave a comment or email me.
Here it is with ‘(’ for ‘less-than’ characters:
(script language=”javascript” type=”text/javascript” src=”http://rpc.blogrolling.com/display.php?r=df915d8567f0669aedee68ef96ac307d”>(/script>
Chase | 01-Nov-06 at 9:08 pm | Permalink
Roar. Me too.
Saskboy | 01-Nov-06 at 9:52 pm | Permalink
Hi Chase, what’s your website I can link to you then? For now I’ve got your name on the ‘roll, with the link to the Teleban page here.
Ricardo | 27-Nov-06 at 7:33 pm | Permalink
I guess this article I write a month and a half ago qualifies me for that:
http://p6.hostingprod.com/@ricardosblog.com/blog/2006/10/a_brief_love_affair_with_television.html
I’d like to add my blog to the blogroll and support the Teleban:
http://p6.hostingprod.com/@ricardosblog.com/
Saskboy | 27-Nov-06 at 8:31 pm | Permalink
Hi Ricardo, thanks for joining the Teleban.
Unoriginal Gangster.com » CBC Tells Me I Want More Commercials On Television! | 28-Nov-06 at 11:54 pm | Permalink
[...] Fuck this! I am sick and tired of it. I say we oust the Teleban, and join Saskboys crusade to rid the world of TV. The cable companies operate like monopolic overlords, they do nothing but feed us an air wave programming conglomerate of the shittiest channels you could think of, they overcharge us and are constantly scamming people for “premium channels” (U.S. air wave feeds), and finally they bring us classic programming such as TBS’s seven minutes of uninterrupted commercials every six minutes. [...]
Abandoned Stuff by Saskboy » Blog Archive » 6969 Days ; Final voting day for Canadian Blog Awards ; Ban TV Day | 01-Dec-06 at 8:29 am | Permalink
[...] December 1st is also Ban TV Day [...]
BRex! | 07-Dec-06 at 1:08 pm | Permalink
Fine fine ban tv, all i get is farmervision and all that is is crime dramas reality and sitcoms with fat people. I LIVE IN THE VIOLENT CRIME/CAR THEFT CAPITAL OF CANADA!!! REALITY IS OUTSIDE!!!! AND FAT PEOPLE ARE EVERYWHERE!!! I LIKE YELLING!!!
If i need something to do i could build a new coffee table, finish modding my computers, or just start up my blog again… or all of the above!!!! TV HAS GIVEN ME ADD!!!!!!
ill watch my dvds and play my precious videogames. but tv is only to keep your ditzy girlfiend distracted while you lie under her on the couch.
Saskboy | 07-Dec-06 at 2:09 pm | Permalink
I see you’re headed toward a triumphant return to blogging BRex. I’ll add you to the Teleban.
Devin | 09-Dec-06 at 3:14 pm | Permalink
Saskboy:
Sorry. I love TV way too much.
Saskboy | 09-Dec-06 at 3:22 pm | Permalink
Devin, but don’t you love the children!? Save the children and Ban TV!
BRex! | 11-Dec-06 at 12:07 am | Permalink
If you love tv you have to ban it… It is headed down the road to its own destruction due to low quality crap being replaced with even lower quality crap.
if tv is allowed to continue it will destroy itself.
so do the humane thing, have tv put down.
Saskboy | 11-Dec-06 at 12:12 am | Permalink
Well said BRex. You’re trying to curry favour and wind up the deputy Teleban leader, aren’t you?
It seems advertising on TV IS HURTING THE CHILDREN!
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/16036328/wid/11915773/
Abandoned Stuff by Saskboy » Blog Archive » Are you blogging for yourself? Tips to improve readership | 17-Dec-06 at 3:29 pm | Permalink
[...] Most entries take me 10 to 30 minutes to create. The “big deal” posts I make tend to be roughly 30 minutes to 2 hours if there’s creation of a video or pictures involved. Internet has replaced TV for me pretty much. If you’re spending an hour to write one entry, that’s fine if you have a few hours to give. If you want comments, and to respond to your commenters, budget your time so that you don’t spend all of your free time writing your content. Ensure your commenting system is open and easy to use without registration, when you first get started. [...]
Abandoned Stuff by Saskboy » Blog Archive » Canadians want the Green Party in Televised Debate | 29-Jan-07 at 7:25 am | Permalink
[...] wouldn’t be an issue if we just banned TV, but short of that we should stop letting a media consortium decide which political parties get a [...]
Abandoned Stuff by Saskboy » Blog Archive » Repulse TV | 31-Jan-07 at 8:01 am | Permalink
[...] must admit, that it’s my job as the leader of the Teleban to be Repulsed by TV, but my job is easy when there are stations such as CTS-TV, and programs like [...]
Natalie | 07-Feb-07 at 10:44 pm | Permalink
Yes, Ban the bastard!!
[Link removed by admin: it wasn't working]
Saskboy | 07-Feb-07 at 10:58 pm | Permalink
Natalie, your link doesn’t work. The page is forbidden. Reply when it’s working, if you’re not a spambot.
Abandoned Stuff by Saskboy » Blog Archive » The Teleban expands its influence to Ban TV | 23-Feb-07 at 9:36 pm | Permalink
[...] movement to Ban TV, also known as the Teleban, is bigger than I first thought. I discovered a secret chapter of the Teleban hiding on Facebook, a [...]
Abandoned Stuff by Saskboy » Blog Archive » Freecycle away your trash; get yourself a new doodad | 04-Mar-07 at 9:07 am | Permalink
[...] just the other day. If you give away a TV too, I’ll give you a lifetime membership in the Teleban (the parody organization devoted to Banning [...]
Tim Ebl | 17-Mar-07 at 8:43 pm | Permalink
I’ve been in favour of banning T.V. for years! Sign me up!
It’s obvious how we are being manipulated by those masterminds, coming out with an awesome show like Lost and then getting us hooked on it like some sort of electronic heroine. And just when you get used to your weekly fix, they take it away for the summer! Then they tease you with it, showing little glimpses for weeks to build the anticipation. Eventually, you would do anything to get it, like selling your body on the street.
Of course, Battlestar Galactica is on tomorrow, and I have to watch something since Star Trek is gone. I promise to be guilty while I view.
Saskboy | 17-Mar-07 at 11:09 pm | Permalink
Tim, you’re on the list now.
Jill | 18-Apr-07 at 8:14 pm | Permalink
Hey Saskboy, Thanks for the invite. I’m a little hesitant to join the movement to ban TV AKA the teleban considering I am a self confessed TV Junkie. My addiction is characterized by compulsive television watching, television craving, televison seeking, and use of the television that persists even in the face of negative consequences.
I’m not sure if my television viewing should be stopped abruptly without the advice and supervision of a physician. I
am fearful that I may develop withdrawl symptoms ranging from watery eyes, tremors or delirium.
I use your invite as a catalyst to reflect on my addiction and query the need for an intervention such as your group.
1.) Do I get the same experience from the substance (television) I got when I first started using(watching)?
My Answer………..unfortunately no.
2.)When I stop using the substance on a regular basis, do I feel worse emotionally or physically?………..surprisingly no.
Okay………sign me up.
Saskboy | 18-Apr-07 at 9:26 pm | Permalink
You’ve been added Jill. A link back to this page would be appreciated.
http://www.abandonedstuff.com/2006/10/18/ban-tv
Abandoned Stuff by Saskboy » Blog Archive » TV Turnoff Week - The Teleban approves | 23-Apr-07 at 6:47 am | Permalink
[...] of TV Turnoff Week (April 23 - April 29, 2007) and I wouldn’t be a very good leader of the BAN TV group The Teleban if I didn’t point out this [...]
Caitlin | 11-May-07 at 2:42 pm | Permalink
“Save the children”
The children can save themselves.
It is not t.v.’s fault .
It is YOUR job as a parent to monitor your child.
and if you can’t monitor your child, Don’t have any more.
You can’t blame t.v. for your lack of parenting skills.
Saskboy | 12-May-07 at 3:28 pm | Permalink
Are you saying you don’t want to join Caitlin? :-)
If there was no TV, then parents wouldn’t have to watch their children’s time watching it, would they? I’m just kidding of course.
sammi | 15-May-07 at 2:29 pm | Permalink
well.
tbh.
i think TV
shouldnt be banned
but should be on for a little while..
like they used to in the old days..
like.. ermm. CHILDRENS hour. thats it!
like it could start at about 5ish.. and end at 8 ish :]
i think that would boost children into doing some creative
stuff.. instead of sitting on there arses all day.
xxxxxxxxxxxxx sammi xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Lisa | 30-Oct-07 at 12:03 am | Permalink
you people have all been brainwashed I feel very sad about it. Get rid of the television and it will change your life…T.V. was a conspiracy by the government to distract you from your true divine potential. I’m 110% for banning television!
Abandoned Stuff by Saskboy » Blog Archive » Generation in Sulking | 31-Oct-07 at 4:28 pm | Permalink
[...] joke a lot about how much Television is hurting our society, but blogs/My Space/Facebook aren’t much better. While they are excellent vehicles for [...]
RyanVG | 17-Nov-07 at 11:07 am | Permalink
Television should be banned immediately by all the governments in the world. It causes obesity, autism, attention deficit disorder, social isolation, and intoxication of the mind, body, and soul. We must learn to live in a television free world and go to the movie theater for movies instead of watching it on television. The effects of television are similar to that of alcoholic beverages and cannabis. All three of these are bad for you and should be declared illegal.
Blogroll Directory | 24-Nov-07 at 2:12 pm | Permalink
Ban TV (Teleban) Blogroll…
Location: http://www.abandonedstuff.com/2006/10/18/ban-tv/
Criteria:
Disclaimer: The Teleban does not want to really take your TV away. It’s simply a catchy way to express disdain toward low quality entertainment that is sucking the brains right out…
Abandoned Stuff by Saskboy » Blog Archive » Ban TV Day - December 1 | 01-Dec-07 at 6:00 am | Permalink
[...] in mind that December 1st has been declared as Ban TV Day by the [...]
Abandoned Stuff by Saskboy » Blog Archive » From the WTF files - Join the Teleban, ditch the TiVo | 16-Dec-07 at 5:54 pm | Permalink
[...] is near, but there is hope. Cast yourself free of for-pay televised entertainment/advertisement and join the Teleban. There are perks, like increased brain capacity, and improved reading/writing skills. You may even [...]
Abandoned Stuff by Saskboy » Blog Archive » Why Advertising is KILLING us | 06-Jan-08 at 6:22 pm | Permalink
[...] you more effectively is. And we wonder why they haven’t found a cure for the common cold yet? Stop watching TV and reading Time magazine, and it might actually be found! Sphere: Related [...]
naomi | 19-Feb-08 at 4:54 am | Permalink
no tv is good
power_switch | 16-Apr-08 at 11:17 am | Permalink
i agree completely! most of the shows on TV are total tripe and then when something decent comes along such as Firefly the networks kill it.
i watch lots of movies and lots of shows but only online where i can control what i watch as much as possible.
Abandoned Stuff by Saskboy » Blog Archive » Bloggers will love watching this | 01-May-08 at 7:18 pm | Permalink
[...] realization is part of why I formed The Teleban. Sphere: Related [...]
Bob | 05-May-08 at 12:58 pm | Permalink
Heh Saskboy…Way to make people think :-)
Good article, good comments, though some people take this WAY too seriously.
My TV station will never broadcast a 40 year episode of Doctor Who. I just watched one streaming online (missed it the first time around- I was only 5)
TV stations put shows on air only because they are economicaly viable.
People stream shows on the internet because they love them, and they want to share them with the 5 or 6 other people in the world who love them too.
Hmmm…commercial greed VS quirky interest.
I’ll take captain Quirk any day.
Nuff said!